he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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