why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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