I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
