she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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