that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
