Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
