another moral hangover. fuck.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
