wrigley field is MILF paradise
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
