Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
