that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
