it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
