my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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