im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
