and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
