i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
