I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
