i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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