Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
