You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
