She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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