you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
