You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
