i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just high enough for therapy.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
