You're completely useless in the revolution.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
