The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
