Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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