i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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