During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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