I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize