when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That's when you crack a 10am beer
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
