too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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