So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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