In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
