We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
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