kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
