it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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