You made me cry and you don't even care
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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