she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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