Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I got her a Nickelback box set.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
