Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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