i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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