we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
