tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
