hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
