two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
