My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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