thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
