I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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