It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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