I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
