even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
